Bachelor Update 1/28

Happy TUESDAY Bachelor fans!

Sorry Michelle and I didn't get our update posted sooner, we had technical difficulties with our DVR and had to wait to see last night's episode. But fear not- we have it all recapped and ready for you now!

Sean jumped right into a date with our friend Selma, who is fun, perky, and seemingly sweet. Going into the date Selma had a pretty high Couch Potato Princess approval rating, which I am sure is the statistic that has been the most important to her throughout this journey ;)

Sean's first stop for Selma was rock climbing. You know, because that's how all girly girls dream of a first date starting. Sean chose Selma for the rock climbing date because she was a self proclaimed non-athlete. Again, I'm sure she was dying for this rock climbing date to be hers. Beyond that, Selma made an offhanded mention of a fear of heights. I have a fear of heights, and not an offhanded one. In fact, at the circus this past weekend I could not even watch the high wire act because seeing them up there all balancy and brave sent me very nearly into a panic attack. I am skipping Cirque du Soleil this weekend with my family because the last time I went I could not watch more than half of the show. If someone brings me on a "rock climbing date" I am saying no.

But Selma said yes, and she climbed a rock. Sean and Selma enjoyed the view from the top and had some sweet moments together before Sean asked her to go to dinner with him. At which point, I ask you- how does one get down from the top of a rock they have just climbed?

Sean took Selma on a dinner date to a weird, kitschy trailer park. I am not sure what to say about this because it was not particularly offensive, but it was also not a 5 star restaurant like other ladies were treated to. During the course of their evening the subject if Selma's culture came up, at which point Selma explained that she would not be able to kiss Sean until after she was the only person he was dating, and that doing it on TV was out of the question. Kudos to Selma for staying true to her roots and her beliefs because not everyone is strong enough to do something like that. Also, most likely she has tripled her stock and increased her chances exponentially, as she is now the only one one the show who is playing hard to get. Selma of course accepted the rose when Sean offered it and the two continued their snuggle session.

The only complaint we really have about Selma is her voice. She did an overly high pitched, baby voice kind of thing while with Sean, which was not exactly endearing. But he seemed to like it, so what do I know?

The group date featured roller derby, naturally.

Sean took eight of the remaining contestants on a very risky roller derby date. The girls were going to get the opportunity to hone ( a word which incidentally auto-corrects to "praline") their skills before competing against end another in an actual roller derby. Really? These girls are already competing for Sean's affections, and it can get heated, so you're going to put them in a situation where they can actually throw punches? This is bringing me back to the boxing type date Ashley Herbert Rosenbaum had on her season when Ames got a concussion. Stop doing these dates!

It is worth mentioning that Sean brought Sarah along on this date. If you'll recall, Sarah only has one arm. I am not an expert in this, nor am I an expert in situations referring to balance, but I think it is possible that Sarah may have some trouble balancing in roller skates. I am not saying this isn't something that is totally able to be overcome, but Sarah has not been given the opportunity to practice. She was very obviously uncomfortable, she fell several times, and really homegirl just wanted to give it up. Ashlee (who is still only getting a lowercase L in her name) became Sarah's champion and encouraged her to get back out there, otherwise she might regret it. Sean also came to Sarah and told her it was totally acceptable for her to decide she didn't want to continue, but that she probably would not be happy if she quit. Ultimately, Sarah did get back out there and overcame both a physical and emotional hurdle.

Amanda is a model. I don't like models on the show on principal, just because they are models. It is probably not fair, I should give them all a chance, blah, blah, blah. But I don't. Amanda, however, decided to tell the other girls that she had roller derbied before, and in fact she was a member of a roller derby club. This was all a lie that the other girls all believed. It also made me like her more. Inexplicably, I am now a fan of a model on The Bachelor. Ok, not inexplicably. It is because she's a liar. Later in the date, Amanda fell... Hard. You may know that I have had some experience with falling down recently, but unfortunately Amanda had it a little bit worse than the skinned knees which have plagued me as of late. Amanda whacked her chin on the rink so hard she had to be sent to the hospital-- just in case her jaw was broken. No bigs.

After her fall, Sean of course came prancing over to her, in his sneakers, to check on her well being. You know Sean, these girls are out there, roller skating to impress you, and I only saw you in skates for like 12 seconds, while you were sitting. Rude.

When a gal gets sent to the hospital it just may be time to abandon the date you are on, which, thankfully, Sean did. Roller derby turned to a roller skating party, which was much more appropriate for the situation at hand.

Off the skates and onto a party, where the ladies vied for Sean's attention and Amanda rejoined the party with a swollen jaw, but not too worse for wear. While Sean was taking turns talking to the girls Robyn made the immature choice to purposely leave Tierra out of a conversation she was having. Tierra naturally handled it with all the grace and poise of a toddler and threw a complete temper tantrum. She began asking production assistants if she could leave, then went on a search for Sean so she could tell him about all the wrongs that had been committed against her. Sean basically handled this by begging her to stay and giving her the rose. Really? Do you really not see through this ploy? This is a problem season after season. There is always one contestant who is a complete phony and does everything in their power to cause drama to further their own agenda. Bentley, Vienna, Kalan, Courtney, Michelle Money... I am sure all these names are bringing back not so fond memories for you. Do all of the Bachelors and Bachelorettes really not see through the acts they are putting on? Or do the producers tell them to keep these drama kings and queens around for ratings? It's problematic, for sure.

Our last date was a one on one with Leslie H. We are not particularly a fan of Leslie. She has kind of a horse face. Which is not not why we don't like her, because we do like some horse faces, for example Starr Manning from General Hospital. We are huge Starr fans.

Anyhow, my initial feeling about this date is the Sean is trying to determine if Leslie needs to leave, and he is using it as a weeding out process. Which is I suppose what he is supposed to be doing in this game. Sean gave Leslie a pair of diamond earrings and then took her shopping on Rodeo Drive a la Pretty Woman. Leslie did not really look super lovely in much that she tried on. The dresses all seemed really old fashioned and just weren't great style choices. But she settled on an olivey colored dress and received shoes and purse to go with it. Sean and Leslie then went to dinner and their conversation was boring no forced.

At this point Michelle said: Her laugh makes me uncomfortable. Write that down.

It is appropriate that Michelle felt uncomfortable because Leslie seemed uncomfortable throughout the date and overcompensated by using a high pitched voice and a grating laugh.

Sean then proceeded to send Leslie home, which was really best for all parties involved.

At the cocktail party Tierra was a major topic of discussion amongst the girls, which is of course what she wanted. Tierra then got very dramatic and claimed that the attention and the drama was in fact the opposite if what she wanted. She pulled Robyn and Jackie aside and gave them a very condescending apology. After she accused them of previously attacking her she tells the cameras that the whole conversation was fake. Way to be a stand up girl, Tierra. (Oh, hey Lesley M! This is the first time I have even seen you on camera tonight!)

Sean only sent one girl home at the rose ceremony, the delightful and funny Amanda who had a visible bruise on her chin after her roller skating accident. Not cool, Sean.

You know who came off as kind of a jerk tonight? Sean. He invited an unathletic girl on a rock climbing date, just because. He had a roller derby and invited a balanced challenged girl along. He bought into Tierra's dramatics. And he sent home the girl who went to the hospital because of him. Pull it together, Sean.

After tonight we like a few more girls than I would have admitted to liking last week.

Lesley is still our number one, since no one surpassed her tonight. We do also like Ashlee, Selma, and Jackie (which admittedly may be just because of her pretty hair).

Until next time Bachelor Fans!

Which one are you? {Round Two}

For those of you that haven't read our first post, "Which one are you?" , we like to play games while watching TV. It makes the time go by faster and is really, very enjoyable.

Here's how it works, basically:

1. Pour a glass of wine. (Or two or three)
2. Watch a really good 30-minute sit-com.
3. Decide which character you are and laugh at the crazy antics that ensue.

Ben and Kate, the new Fox comedy, airs on Tuesdays at 8:30pm and is hilarious (in a weird, awkward situations kind of way). The show centers on the life of Kate, a 20-something who got pregnant in high school and has been trying to find a way to have a normal life ever since. To assist her with this endeavor, her brother Ben has come to town and really only seems to make matters worse (and weirder, I might add). Somehow, she manages, with the help of family and her best friend, BJ (who is awesomely British, and doesn't really know how to act appropriately around children).

While there are many characters that are unique and interesting in this series, our favorite characters are Kate and BJ for a number of reasons.


This is Kate. She's kind of a hot-mess, but she doesn't really mean to be - if that makes any sense at all. A single mom since she was a teenager, she has learned to depend on herself to get things done. She also bears the responsibility of taking care of her older, yet immature, brother Ben. The most important things you should know about Kate are that shes quirky (like, making funny voices at inappropriate moments), accidentally flirtatious with people she probably wouldn't ever want to be with, and accidentally mean or snobbish to people she really does like and want to date. She also has about the worst luck with men and can't seem to figure out what to say or do in order to have a lasting relationship.

Kate is me, basically, without the hot-mess part. While I don't make funny voices at inopportune moments, I am a little quirky. I don't like the sensation of biting into strawberries, I am perpetually warm but insist on wearing sweaters, and I jump to extreme conclusions. I'm weird, whatever. I also have a problem with saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. Sometimes alcohol is involved, other times I just don't think about how something will sound before I say it. Kate does this a lot and it tends to cause a domino effect of problems for her and her motley crew. The worst part about this problem is that it causes me to accidentally flirt with guys that I am in no way attracted to. You know, that guy approaching you at the bar in his BMW t-shirt at 1:30 am, claiming to be rich but looking (and smelling) like desperation and homeless-ness had a baby? That's the guy I accidentally hit on. Not the 28 year old brain surgeon with the Bentley out front. No, of course not. That's the one I accidentally insult who walks away without buying me a drink. These are the Kate-like problems I have. Like I said, we are basically the same.



This is BJ. She is Kate's best friend and right-hand woman. They work together (although, I use the word "work" loosely when it comes to BJ) and she often invites herself into Kate's house and life like she owns the place. It's all good though, because when Kate needs her, she is there - well dressed, manicured, and possibly slightly inebriated. She isn't very good with children, as is apparent by her interaction with Maddie, Kate's daughter, and is kind of self-absorbed but it's all very loveable because she's British and who doesn't love a good accent? She is also brutally honest and always, like a good friend, has Kate's best interest at heart - even if she shows it in extreme ways.

While Lindsey is only kind of loveable because she does not have a British accent (just kidding), she has a lot of tendencies that lead us to believe if she were a more extreme person she might be BJ. Lindsey is always well dressed and manicured, and if she had her druthers we would all be slightly inebriated and walking our dogs with a glass of wine in each hand. It's not a bad idea. BJ usually goes to extremes to make sure Kate doesn't put her foot in her mouth (a valiant effort), and Lindsey often has to do this for me too. (Although, she has never physically smacked my phone out of my hand before as BJ once did to Kate)  Basically, BJ is a really good friend and so is Lindsey, making these two obviously alike.

I hope you enjoyed this episode of "Which one are you?" and will comment with your own quirky TV games!

We're Going to Be Rich!

Michelle and I want to be rich, so we can stay home all day, work on our tans, go to the gym, and keep our DVR below 20%. Unfortunately, we are not rich, so we continue to have to work day in and day out. But, we know where our fortune will come from.

Board Games.

We love games, as Michelle may or may not have mentioned before. We once made a very intricate Twilight board game while in our Childhood Literacy class, which TRUST ME is much better than the one they are selling on the shelves at your local Target. Unfortunately for us, the marketed version of the Twilight board game beat us to the punch, thus making our version obsolete.

This is a real thing we made, people.

Tell me you don't want to play this game.

Fortunately, this is not our only board game idea. Again, unfortunately, all of the rest of the ideas were also marketed and sold before we could get ours to Milton Bradley, Hasbro, or Parker Brothers. If any of those companies are the same as each other, don't tell me. I prefer to continue thinking they are all their own selves.

Due to recent events, we have found our next big money board game idea.

Michelle has a problem. She jumps to ridiculous conclusions when we are discussing or observing situations.

Example 1:
While internet researching the possibility of pregnancy by toilet seat (you really don't want to know why we were discussing this, I promise) Michelle wondered why there were so many posts about this on the internet. More specifically on a Canadian Teens website. What do Canadian Teens need this information for?

Michelle: Maybe it is for girls who are like... obsessed with being pregnant and babies and just want to be pregnant so badly that they need to know if this is a way. That's real, I saw it on Maury once. A bunch of 13 year-olds who wanted to get pregnant with their boyfriends. And it was way before Teen Mom was on MTV, so they didn't even know about that untapped market. Or maybe they are trying to entrap someone. She wants to have a specific person's baby, so she's wondering if she can do it via toilet seat.
Lindsey: Maybe some pregnant girl is just trying to lie to her parents about having sex, so she needs to know if the toilet seat lie will work or not.
Michelle: Yes, that is more plausible than my idea.  

Example 2:
Michelle's dog Abbie loses her toys, often. And I use the word "loses" loosely, because she doesn't really lose them, she hides them. Except for her squeaking toy. That one she always has out and plays with CONSTANTLY slowly driving us crazy with the sounds of her squeaks. Michelle just bought her a few new, non-squeaking, toys so as to try to preserve our sanity. The other day we returned home from a short trip to the store to discover the new green snowflake chew toy was not in the middle of the floor where it was when we left. Michelle was torn between being thrilled she had played with it, and terrified that she lost/hid it. Michelle glanced about the apartment and found no green snowflake anywhere.

Michelle: I cannot find it.
Lindsey: It's gone.
Michelle: It probably is. She went out while we were gone and sold it for beer money. Or she already ate the entire thing.
Lindsey: Or she hid it with the other toys that all suddenly go missing.
Michelle: Yea, that makes more sense than her eating the entire thing in less than 10 minutes.

Example 3:
Leaving Wal-Mart, a large white van with no windows stalks us to our parking spot. Naturally, Michelle assumes they are trying to kidnap us. I'll go ahead and give her that one, since windowless vans are pretty notorious for that. However, after we were safely locked in the vehicle and the van was still sitting apparently waiting for us to leave, this ensued.

Michelle begins backing the car out.
Michelle: Is he sitting there, waiting for my spot? Just waiting for me to back out so he can take this non-desirable spot near the back of the parking lot? Not to mention there are at least seventeen open spots in any given direction.
The van then proceeds to park in the spot next to the one we vacated, very crookedly and surely over the white line.
Michelle: Then he doesn't even take the space? He sits there and waits for it, and then doesn't take it?
Lindsey: Maybe he's just really bad at parking and wanted you to be gone so he could park his massive windowless van without the fear of hitting your car on his way in. He parked over the line.
Michelle: Fine. I don't know why I assume these crazy things and you come to the most rational conclusions about everything.

And in the Target parking lot, an idea was born. Walking to our car we witnessed two younger girls, approximately 12 and 8, crossing the parking lot by themselves to get to their car. The older one suddenly breaks out in a run and begins to encourage the younger one to run also.

Girl: Run! Hurry up!! Go faster!
Michelle: If those were my children I would be furious with her for running through the parking lot without holding her sister's hand and then making her little sister run, too. That is very unsafe.
Lindsey: Maybe their father is abusive and he gave them a time limit and said if they weren't back in the car before time was up he would leave them there.
Michelle: (Stops in place and stares at me in awe) Did you really just say that? You think that could be happening?
Lindsey: No. They are kids, kids make dumb choices, like running through a parking lot while their 8 year old sister lags behind. I was once and 11 year old with an 8 year old sister, it seems like something we would have done. It's an idea I had for a new game, Jumping to Conclusions. It could make us rich.

I cannot divulge anymore about what the game entails, because frankly I've probably told you too much already. If this game is on the shelves before Michelle and I are able to sell our version we will know it was one of you. Don't steal our idea... It will hurt our feelings.    

Bachelor Update 1/21

Happy Monday Bachelor fans! We hope this Monday finds you well, and with a day off as it has found us! ;)

Tonight's episode began with a one on one date between Sean and Lesley M. We were quite excited to see a date between Sean and Lesley because last week she made quite an impression on us. Sean took Lesley to Hollywood to the Guinness World Record museum and ultimately showed her that his father holds a world record, which was very sweet in the context of their date.

Sean then took Lesley to break a world record of their own- Longest Onscreen Kiss. The record was 3 minutes and 15 seconds which Michelle assures me is a record she broke in high school. I however am choosing not to incriminate myself... My mom reads this blog, people. Hi Mom!

Sean and Lesley successfully broke the record and continued in with a very sweet date.

Here's the thing friends, at this point- Lesley became our favorite.

She received her rose and continued to make these Couch Potato Princesses hope for her to win.

Group Date-

This evening's group date consisted of ladies competing in a beach volleyball competition in which only the winning team would get to spend time with Sean. First of all, Chris Harrison, when you come to the beach to unveil the twist to the contestants you can't even be bothered to wear a swimsuit? Linen pants and a button down seem acceptable to you?

Anywho, as in any game there are winners and there are losers, and the thing that stuck out to me most, out of all 6 winners and all six losers were these two things:

Losers: Kristy cried. Pull it together sister. 5 other girls also lost and they didn't fall apart, so it is not acceptable for you to be acting this way.

Winners: Kacie B., you know I love you- but pull yourself together sister. When Kacie went in to her one on one time with Sean she chose to tell him about Desiree and Amanda disagreeing. Sean felt like this was none of her business, and frankly he was right. Kacie tried to make the drama about two other girls which was certainly not the stance to take, especially when Amanda has been a problem for all the girls, not just Desiree. Way to make yourself seem crazy, Kacie.

At the end of the night Lindsay, of the super aggressive make out, ended up with the rose. I like her for obvious reasons... Even if she uses an a.

One one one- AshLee

From now on, I am refusing to capitalize the L in Ashlee. It is unnecessary and bothersome to me.

Before Ashlee's date could begin Tierra fell down the stairs. This caused paramedics to come and Tierra refused to allow them to taker her to the hospital which ended up in her getting a little extra one on one time before Sean took Ashlee on their date. At this point, I have a few things to say.

1. The drama was really lackluster. Tierra didn't get pushed nor did she accuse anyone of pushing her. Booooring. They hyped this up in the previews to the hilt, and it was basically a let down.

2. I cannot make a determination on whether or not she faked the fall. It seems a bit extreme, but she did ultimately benefit. You let me know what you think, friends.

3. And I don't dislike her as much as I thought I would until this point.

Ashlee and Sean's date finally began and they escorted two young, sick girls on a private visit to an amusement park followed by a concert by The Eli Young Band.

1. Ashlee's dress was not great. It was kind of see through, but not really...

2. This was a great date for Ashlee to be on because it really affected her and it was nice for Sean to be able to see her in that light.

3. How awesome that they took these two girls on their date with them!! These two girls will never forget this and it was very sweet.

Ashlee got a rose, which was deserved.

Cocktail Party:

I'm going to level with you here friends. At this point of the evening Michelle and I were discussing getting a 3 bedroom apartment with our friend Vicki and were not paying much attention to an uneventful cocktail party. sorry :(

Rose Ceremony:

Sean started off the rose ceremony by pulling our girl Kacie B. into a private convo and then sending her home. Our opinion was that Sean and Kacie were not quite meant to be and her departure was timely. But, ABC, keep her in mind as next season's Bachelorette!

Sean then also sent home Taryn and Kristy.

Without consulting my notes I do not remember much about Taryn. Again, if I do not know or remember anything about you...seeing you leave is not difficult.

Admittedly I did not like Kristy. She was over dramatic and hard to like.

So ultimately, the Couch Potato Princesses approve of 3 out of 3 send offs.

We like Desiree a large amount but both deem Lesley M. to be our fave.

Who are your favorites this far?? Comment to let us know!

Until next week friends!

A Couch for Couch Potatoes

Lindsey and I have decided we need a new couch. It's not that we don't like the couch we have, I mean, it has a pull out mattress which opens the door for all kinds of possibilities on movie nights or when out of town guests come over or when in-town guests come over and just don't want to leave. However, the couch is basically older than the two of us put together. That might be an exaggeration. It is also lacking just a bit on the comfort level, especially when one (or both) of us find that sitting up is just too much work while clearing out some space on the DVR. Lately we've taken to a routine of one person on the couch and one person on the floor. While this seems okay in theory, the person on the floor really gets the short end of the stick and also has to lay among the many allergens (and by allergens I mean pet hair) which only reminds us that we need to vacuum, and we, unlike The Elephant, refuse to vacuum at moments that might be considered rude by our neighbors (basically anytime other than a Saturday or Sunday Afternoon) (aren't we so polite?).

The point is we need a new couch. So, I've done some research (and by research I mean pinterest-ing) and compiled the top ten couches that Lindsey and I would like to own. Your job is to pick your favorite and comment on which one and why we should purchase that particular sofa. Easy, right? I mean, I've practically done the work for you!

Couch #1
"The White Lounger"
Pros: There is a place to lounge AND a place to sit (worst case scenario, one of us could kind of lay on the sitting side, you know, for those times when we both need to be horizontal), throw pillows (we don't currently have any)
Cons: The couch is white - we drink a lot of red wine, I assume you can figure out why this might be a problem, no real option for overnight guests, I guess we can always pull out the air mattress

Couch #2
"The Paneled Wonder"
Pros: Built in end tables which can be used anywhere on the couch (No more "Can you put this on the table for me? I can't reach.." moments), throw pillows (again)
Cons: It's basically a love seat.. while cozy, not quite what we are looking for as far as comfort and size goes


Couch #3
"Pillow-top Ghandi"
Pros: Lots of pillows (which would undoubtedly be comfortable), a colorful conversation piece
Cons: I'm not sure how stable this couch would be, I mean, it's made of pillows. Was anyone ever successful at making a pillow seat as a child without roly-poly-ing off the top? I didn't think so..

 
Couch #4
"The Titanic"
Pros: Um... I'm having a hard time here. Let me just clarify, this is a boat? And a couch? But, why? I just.. it is beyond me why anyone would need or want this. For all your living room fishing needs.
Cons: I called this the Titanic because it needs to be sunk. Everything about this screams "con."

Couch #5
"Couchez de Classy"
Pros: This is super classy, like us; if you look closely you can see that there is wine bottle storage on the sides, which is also perfect for us; and it's practically a bed, we could both lie down at the same time without even touching each other.
Cons: It might not fit into our living room and we might just end up falling asleep on this couch more often than not. (Lindsey just informed me that these were not in fact "cons" but they were the only things I could even begin to pick at...)




Couch #6
"The Puzzle Piece"
Pros: (This is going to be a long list) First of all, it's a puzzle. A PUZZLE. So cool. It's entertainment for a rainy day, something for kids to play with when they come to visit, and it's like having two to four couches at any given moment. Also, you could make a fort out of it. Still not sold? Imagine it loaded up with pillows and blankets on a cold day. Done and done.
Cons: We would spend too much time rearranging it and lose time we could be using to empty out our DVR. It would be a problem.



Couch #7
"The Cat Couch"
Sidebar: When I told Lindsey about this couch she exclaimed, "There's a cat couch?!? Well, Emma (her cat) needs that.."
Pros: It has a space for our beloved cat, Emma, which is obviously very important (I also don't think my small dog, Abbie, would hate it either).
Cons: It's kind of small.  I feel like this would only work if we had two of them, or more cats...




Couch #8
"The Bunk-Bed Couch"
Pros: It's a bunk bed, and a couch.. How could it get any better than that? Perfect for overnight guests, perfect for when we both want to lounge and watch movies.. this couch is amazing. Also, I think we would always have it set up as a bunk bed unless like, the Queen came to visit..
Cons: Are you kidding me? There are no cons. We may have to remove our ceiling fan, though..



Couch #9
"Sprout-a-couch"
Pros: This is literally my worst nightmare as far as couches go. I am not outdoorsy at all. Grass in my living room? No thank you. The only pro would be if it came with a hunky lawn-maintenance man to take care of the upkeep.
Cons: It's made of grass, it's dirty, we have allergies, you have to mow it. Ew.



Couch #10
"The Man Couch"
Pros: If you can't see the "pros" you are blind. Blinded by this mans six pack abs. I don't want to sway your vote.. but this is the couch we like the best, for obvious reasons.
Cons: There might only be room for one of us Princesses on the couch.. which means we might be racing home from work a little faster than normal, an unsafe, but necessary choice.











The decision is yours, taters! Comment with your vote!

Lindsey and Michelle Problems

Problems. We've all got 'em. But, Michelle and I (think we) have them more than most. And I (think I) have them worse than Michelle. Let me go through them with you here and now, and you can help me decide if my, or our, problems really are all that bad.

Lindsey and Michelle Problem 1:

Dogs on Leashes

Just do it, people. I know your dog is probably super sweet and nice and she would never run away, blah, blah, blah. But it is an inconvenience for the rest of us! When I am finishing a run maybe I don't want your dog to be able to wander up to me and kindly sniff me. I am sweaty and not particularly a fan of wet noses I am not familiar with. Moreover, I never really know how it handle it, Guy Who Never Has His Dog On A Leash, when you walk ahead of your dog, and you have no idea that it is all over me. I am not comfortable with any of it. And furthermore, when other dogs walk by there's this whole everyone gets riled up thing happening. This causes trouble for all involved. Plus, what if I was allergic to dogs? Your four legged friend could potentially cause me severe breathing struggles and you would have no idea just by looking at me that I was plagued by this. Additionally, people are afraid of dogs. They should not have to face their fears during their end of the day walk just because you think your dog is better than any other dog who's owner chooses to follow the leash laws.

Lindsey and Michelle Problem 2:

Wine

Those bottles are a little pricier than we'd like them to be. And what's worse, they don't refill themselves! So we continue to have to go out and purchase pricey bottles to get us through our Bachelor Mondays, and any other stressful evenings that we may have during the week. Wine is a really nice de-stresser, which makes it essential to have in the house, because you never know when you are going to have a particularly stressful day.  The other evening I was inspired by a resident in my apartment complex who I think really had the right idea about wine. She was out for, what I presume to have been, a relaxing walk with her (leashed) pup. You know what she had with her? Wine. Yup, she had taken her end of the day relaxing walk, and combined it with her end of the day de-stressing glass of wine. Wine? Not her problem! (The fact that she had 2 glasses of wine with her may indicate that she has a different kind of problem, but I digress.)

Lindsey and Michelle Problem 3:

Vacuuming

Surprisingly, our problem is unrelated to our own vacuuming, but instead is related to the vacuuming of our neighbors. Recently, someone who lives near us has been vacuuming to the extreme. Days in a row for an extended amount of time. How dirty can your apartment be? You vacuumed yesterday for over an hour, why do you need to vacuum again today for 45 minutes? This is a problem for us because it is SO LOUD and after about 27 minutes the sound starts to grate on you and becomes the worst sound in the world. I kid you not, nails on  a chalkboard has nothing on the sound of constant vacuuming. Please, please, please stop doing this. My sanity depends on it.

Lindsey Problem: 4

Skinned knees

Even though I am a grown adult with much practice at things such as standing upright, I recently have been the victim of gravity. Let me explain. On September 11, (please don't ask why I remember the exact date, it is a silly answer which involves my blue strappy wedges, which I was wearing that day, and has thus embedded the exact date in my mind) I tripped over an uneven spot in the sidewalk and went down... hard. My left knee was severely banged up and looked just terrible. Do you know how inconvenient it is to have a skinned knee? Dresses, skirts, and shorts are all out. You cannot wear them for weeks. This even cuts select capri  pants out of your wardrobe. As a girl who wear dresses almost every day to work, this is particularly bothersome to me. Plus, do you know how many band-aids you have to use? A ton. Because one band-aid is not enough, you have to use two each time. Then, you have to change them regularly, so as to keep it clean and all that jazz, which is just adding to your financial ruin because you are spending all your money on Neosporin and band-aids. What's worse, last week when I was out for a run, I tripped on a (different) uneven spot of sidewalk and went down... hard. I now have two new skinned knees which has obviously doubled my spending on Neosporin and band-aids.

Lindsey Problem: 5

Being right

I was born with the burden of always being right. It is a difficult load to bear, but I have been doing my best to handle it with grace and poise. I try not to argue my point too fervently when with mixed company, but it is really hard when I know they are wrong. Even when I am, very rarely, not as right as usual, I am still more right than most people. This is troublesome in many facets of my day and frankly, I am tired of it. ;)

Lindsey and Michelle Problem: 6

The Wraptastic



We need one. Immediately. Actually, we need 3. One for saran wrap, one for parchment paper, and one for aluminum foil. Everything they say in the infomercial is completely accurate. The drawers are messy with all those boxes which start to get tattered and torn, sometimes you do cut yourself on those sharp edges, and it does seem so much faster and efficient your way! Obviously, you now know what we are watching on TV as I type this blog post. If anyone is in a gift giving mood, you now know what we want.

Lindsey and Michelle Problem: 7

The thing that actually inspired this blog post was a text message I received earlier this week from a friend informing me that she and her husband had a #LindseyandMichelleproblem.

Let me explain. Michelle and I visit the same restaurant each week, twice a week (stop judging), because we play both music and regular trivia. As a result, we have started to get to know the people who work there. If I saw them out somewhere not only would we recognize each other, but we would also say hi. Additionally, you get to know the other patrons who also frequent the same trivia night. It is kind of like being on Cheers, you know, where everybody knows your name. It has become running joke with our nearest and dearest that we are VIP. Michelle and I also go to Sweet Tomatoes a lot. We really like it, it is totally justifiable because it is healthy, it is super close to home AND it is affordable. What's not to love?! Because we go there so often, our friends, Brianna and Josh, joke that we are also on our way to being VIP at Sweet Tomatoes. Well, joke no more Bri and Josh, because our favorite cashier told us about his new whackadoo manager on one of our more recent trips. He wouldn't tell just anyone about that, only VIP. He also tells us it is ok to get real drinks in our water cups. VIP status = achieved.


Brianna sent me a text message the other night that she and Josh were recognized at Moe's due to the frequency which they dine there. Congrats Brianna and Josh on your VIP status! You are well on your way to many more Lindsey and Michelle problems, I'm sure.

Bachelor Update 1/14

It's that time again, Bachelor lovers! Michelle and I just finished watching another episode of season 17 of The Bachelor, and once again we were not disappointed! With Merlot in hand, we settled in for what was sure to be a fantastical evening.

On week 2, things get a little more interesting because the dating begins. Michelle and I were excited to see what fun adventures Sean had in store for the lovely ladies he has left in his brood.

Date 1: one on one
Girl: Sarah
Date: helicopter ride, building free fall, dinner

Ok, to start off, I need to mention that Sarah only has one arm. I didn't bring it up last week, but now that she has a one on one, I think we need to talk about it. I cannot imagine the amount of courage it took for her to come on national TV, trying to date a guy without having any idea how he will react, and having the guts to talk about your disability, again, on national TV. Kudos to you, Sarah.

Sean picked Sarah up for their date in a helicopter, which is extravagant and caused lots of jealousy. The Couch Potato Princess have yet to submit a verdict on the idea of a helicopter date. We have a collective fear of heights, so the instability of a helicopter would not really do anything for either one of us, but Sarah seemed to like it, and that is in fact all that matters.

What happened next was that Sean expected Sarah to free fall off a a skyscraper and join him in a champagne toast. What happened on the couch was a lot of gasping and even one yelp. What happened on the skyscraper was a girl willing to jump off a building. Sean then yammered on about how how nice it was to go out with a girl who was willing to be adventurous and you know... Jump off a building. It was at this point Michelle and I determined we will be forever alone because neither one of us will be jumping off a building for any man, no way, no how. Sarah and Sean enjoyed a lovely post-jump toast and a delightful dinner together.

Overall, it was a nice date. But just that... Nice. While we predict Sarah will be around for a bit more, we do not envision lasting love for these two. (As always, we reserve the right to change our minds later.)

Date 2: group date
Girls: lots... We will only highlight the memorable ones, both good and bad
Date: photo shoot for Harlequin romance novels

Well, every girl I know wants to get dressed up, have her hair and makeup done, and get her picture taken. We all, at least at one point, even if it was very long ago, wanted to be a model. It may have lasted for a minute, it may have lasted longer, but it was there. So this was obviously a good date choice for a larger group of ladies.

Overall the photo shoots were fun. Our favorite was Lesley M., who was dressed as a cowgirl and was super cute. The Harlequin romance book people preferred Kristy, who incidentally is an actual model, and gave her 3 book covers. Kristy was a little aggressive with her photo shoot, which I think can be a little off putting. Off putting to me, off putting to Michelle, off putting to the other 12 girls in the room, and maybe off putting to some of you out there. Feel free to let me know.

After the pictures were taken Sean announced that he would be taking the girls on a pool party date. Traditionally on group dates something similar to the pool party date happens, in which everyone sits around and Sean will then begin pulling girls away one by one to get some alone time, decide who he likes, who he doesn't like and to whom he will give the group date rose.

After we chose Lesley as our personal favorite for the night, we were pleased to see what Sean also really liked her. When he didn't kiss her at the end of their one on one time together, she went back to find him later and sealed the deal herself. We did not find tis aggressive or off putting. Kristy, take some notes.

We were of course pleased to see some one on one time with our very favorite contestant, Kacie B. Kacie did bring up the fact that she and Sean previously knew each other and how that was working out for Sean. He mentioned that he was having to transition from seeing Kacie as just a friend to seeing her as more. This was a heart stopping moment for all Kacie B. fans because at first you weren't sure how Sean was going to say this transition was going, but we all breathed a sigh of relief when he assured her that he was excited to see where this would take them.

Tierra spent the evening being mildly unpleasant. She wasn't outright nasty, but she did refuse to move from her end of the couch to join any of the other girls. Ok, Tierra, I can understand it being a little weird to spend time with a bunch of girls who are all after the same man you are. However, there is no need to make the whole situation awkward for everyone. Which is what you did. Suck it up, be friendly, and don't be so rude. She did perk up when she spent time alone with Sean, interestingly enough.

Katie, who Michelle affectionately nicknamed Yo Gabba Gabba because of her status as a professional yoga instructor, was not comfortable in this situation. In fact, she was quite uncomfortable. So uncomfortable that she pulled Kacie aside for a little heart to heart about if the whole show would be is way. You know... Like a competition. Yes, Katie this competition show will indeed continue to be a competition. Katie decided this wasn't for her and told Sean she would be leaving the show immediately. The loss of Katie did not really disappoint The Couch Potato Princesses. She hadn't really made any kind of impression, negative, positive, or otherwise, so wish her a fond farewell as she was just taking up space for someone else to fill with drama ;)

At the end of the group date, it is The Bachelor's job to distribute one lonely rose to the girl of his choosing. Against what seemed like impossible odds, Michelle and I found ourselves rooting for Lesley M. to get the rose, even though our girl Kacie B. was pretty confident she would be getting the rose.

And the rose goes to.... Kacie B! Kudos to Sean for sensing Kacie needed the extra reassurance that he did actually want her there. But, stay strong Lesley M., The Couch Potato Princesses have just named you favorite contestant of the night. You made us like you double what we did last week as well as being cute without being cutesy, which can be a tough line not to cross.

Also, no pool at this "pool party" date.... Can anyone explain that to me, ABC?

Date 3: one on one
Girl: Desiree
Date: art show, Punk'd, dinner

Sean took Desiree on a lovely date to an art show, brought her behind the scenes to see the piece de resistance, and then left her alone with a $1.5 million dollar piece of art that somehow jumped off a shelf and shattered.

Luckily for Desiree all of this was faked. Because Sean is a jokester, he thought this would be funny. Not funny, Sean. But, Desiree is an understanding gal and she ultimately thought it was funny. You know, after it was over and she was off the hook for breaking a valuable, irreplaceable piece of art.

Sean and Desiree then went back to his place, had dinner, and then got in an actual pool, unlike his last pool party date that did not seem to feature a pool.

Quote of the night from Michelle: "Bikinis and broken art on a first date? This is my worst nightmare."

Desiree and Sean had a pretty cute date together. Sean expressed that she was the first girl who had seen all sides of him and presented her with a rose. She then proceeded to take her time thinking about accepting it, to repay Sean for that whole broken art fiasco. Of course she accepted the rose and they had, what I am sure was, a lovely evening swim together. Desiree actually may have what it takes to be in this competition to the end.

Rose Ceremony:

Amanda took over for Tierra as Queen of Snottiness. She sat on the couch, wearing a sour face, arms crossed, basically ignoring people who tried to involve her in their conversations. Like our friend Tierra, Amanda managed to perk up as soon as Sean decided he was ready to spend a few minutes with her.

When all the roses were distributed it was Diana and Brooke who left us this week. Brooke was someone we really didn't know much about, which is why I was probably not super sad to see her go. If the producers aren't going to give me a reason to be invested in you, then I will not have a hard time saying goodbye. I did however really like Diana, and would have preferred that Sean had sent Amanda and her sour face home in her place.

Final Thoughts from The Couch:

Least favorites: for their snotty attitudes and what will surely be ridiculous drama, Tierra and Amanda

Favorites: Kacie B., and newly promoted Lesley M.

Most ridiculous thing of the night: the pool party with no pool


There you have it Bachelor fans! Please comment with your thoughts and follow us so you don't miss any posts! :)

Chivalry is dead, and hopefully so is whatever was eating our garbage last night.

(This is what I look like sometimes.)

So, I'm not generally one of those girls who needs a man for the sole purpose of doing things for me. I mean, who needs a hero nowadays when you have things like "The Grabber" to reach up high and the "As Seen on TV - One Touch Jar Opener" which I think is pretty self-explanatory? I certainly don't. I'm not some character in an 80s movie about a town that forbids dancing, I'm certainly not starring in a Shrek film anytime soon, and my name isn't Bonnie Tyler. (See what I did there? Hah.) When it comes down to it the only times I really find myself needing the specific assistance of a man is when it comes to all things auto-related (although I recently learned how to refill my own windshield washer fluid, so there) and garbage disposals, which have admittedly been a problem of late. Frankly, I pride myself on being able to work a drill, pick out a Phillips head screw driver, and uncork champagne (not all at the same time, mind you..that just seems unsafe). As a woman, I have the added bonus of not being afraid to ask for directions or help when necessary, too.. I also don't have the pesky toilet seat dilemma to deal with either. What I'm saying here is that I'm awesome. But, that's not entirely the point of this rant, I mean, post.

My point is a story really, and a short one at that so I apologize for the long prelude. Here it is:

Lindsey and I have neglected to take out the garbage for like, a week, and it gets pretty gross, as one can imagine, after sitting outside our door for so long. (Let me clarify that this wasn't necessarily out of extreme laziness, we both just started back to work after vacation, so things have been a bit crazy around our house) So apparently a creature of some kind discovered our garbage and chewed a hole in it to have an obviously PALEO midnight snack, which is understandable. This morning when we awoke to find the mess outside, we agreed that the trash needed to be taken out immediately upon our return home, so when I got home first, I took it upon myself to take care of business. I picked up the bag (a week old, I remind you) and it was leaking some kind of yellow goo, which was no good for me. Seeing no other option I dragged it downstairs to my car and set it on top of a pizza box (also garbage, I don't just keep random pizza boxes in my car at all times.. although it might not be a terrible idea to do so) inside my trunk, and hauled it to the garbage crusher (I don't know what the official name of it is). Now, the way our trash area works is that it's got it's own 'driveway' of sorts... Once you pull in, the road is blocked until you drive through, and the garbage crusher and recycle bins are all on the left. So I pull in, turn off my car, and proceed to get rid of some various bits of recycle I had laying around, when this man pulls his car in behind me. He leaves his car running, gets out with a handful of clear plastic bags, and bee-lines it for the trash compacter thingy which proceeds to make a bunch of god-awful noises while it eats the trash. At this point he's had to practically step over my bag of trash twice and I'm irritated that he didn't even offer to assist or combine our trash... But, what do I care? My name isn't Rapunzel, I can get out of my own tower and take out the garbage, thank you very much. So I he-man lift my trash bag up the steps only to discover that you can't put anything in the garbage monster while it's feeding. This both aggravates and delights me because now, Mr.Chivalry-Killer and I are trapped (due to my parked car) until I can properly dispose of my trash. I'm not going to lie, I took my time getting out of there and made him really karmic-ly suffer for his lack of manners.

As I said before, Sir, I don't need you to do things for me. However, every once in a while it would be nice to believe that there are in fact chivalrous men in the world who, out of respect, might offer to do something nice for a woman.


Bottom line: I don't need a hero. You don't need to be strong, or fast, or fresh from a fight. But gentlemen, when you see a woman with a disgusting bag of garbage, please take it or pay the kharmic price.

Bachelor Update 1/7/13

No, unfortunately this is not an update about the bachelors in mine and Michelle's life, but alas, is an update about the trashy reality TV show, The Bachelor. It is probably not a shock to very many people that Michelle and I watch reality TV, but it is worth mentioning this is the only one. Almost.

There are a few rules about watching The Bachelor when you watch with The Couch Potato Princesses. Ok, there's one. You have to watch with a glass of wine. This is not because wine is both delicious and Paleo, but because wine is like the official sponsor of The Bachelor. So, you have to drink it to fit in. In fact, this evening, before The Bachelor started Michelle and I realized we were in fact completely out of wine, and this, my friends, will just not do. To rectify this problem we went out, after yoga, after dark, and after dinner to get ourselves a bottle to get us through tonight's episode. Those are our three main rules: no going out after exercise, dark or dinner. We broke all three to get ourselves our bottle of Bachelor wine. (Worry not, the bottle will last for more than one episode, but it will most likely not last until next week's episode. If you catch my drift.)

Now, onto a recap of thoughts Michelle and I had throughout tonight's season 17 premiere.

I'd like to first and foremost thank the people at ABC for selecting Sean as this season's bachelor, because.. Well he has a kind heart, sweet soul, and looks pretty great without a shirt on.

One of the best things about this show is the drama. I don't want to be amused by the screaming matches and the cat fights, and yet... I am. The Bachelor is definitely a better source for drama than The Bachelorette. Most of the time, the men in the house really do impress me with their competitiveness on screen, but overall they are much more mellow than a house full of ladies. Thus making The Bachelor your go to source for all things dramatic. This season's previews proved that this year would be no different. Someone falls down the stars?! Bring it on, ladies. 

Sean has the daunting task of meeting 25 women and determining which seven of them to send home and which to keep around to get to know better. I have the unique perspecitve of knowing what it is like to walk into a room and have (nearly) 25 sets of eyes trained upon you, expecting you to have all the answers to the questions of the universe, as well as being able to lead them to sure fire fame and success. (No, I am not a self help guru, I am merely an elementary school teacher. Which is kind of the same thing on most days.) 

But wait! What's that, world's best reality show host, Chris Harrison? There's a 26th girl?! Michelle and I were highly intrigued to see which former contestant would be gracing us with her presence this season. (Really, our feelings could go either way.. We are both judgemental if we hate you or incredibly supportive if we like you.) 

"Kacie B.!" We both screamed out in unison as our very favorite contestant from Ben's season got out of the limo, and we were more than thrilled to see that she was back!

As I was introduced to the season's contestants and got to know a little bit about them all, I am pleased to say there is only one who I thought was completely horrific at first meet. I will choose to not identify her here and now, but most likely my distaste her for her will come out in a later Bachelor recap post. Because yes, my reality TV friends, this will be a weekly segment. 

As far as cocktail parties go, I found this one to be not offensive. The girls were not particularly catty, which I think is an appropriate stance for a lady to take on her first night in the house. I was not, however, a fan of the whole handing out roses as we go thing Sean had going on. I thought it was a little confusing to me, as well as to the girls in the room. Plus, it added a little extra tension, which was not great. 

At the end, when the rose ceremony was complete Sean had sent home 7 ladies, who I will now recap here for you all. 

Ashley P.- Ashley was both drunk and a 50 Sahdes of Grey junkie. Good call, Sean, good call. 

Ashley H.- (Don't worry, he kept AshLee F., who spells her name weird, but does still leave an Ashley on the show.) Ashley H. was pretty innocuous, I can't really tell you much about her, which is probably why she got sent home. 

Lacey- I actually liked Lacey and think Sean maybe should have thought again about sending her home. She had a cute heart made of lace thing going on for her, and she was not drunk like Lindsay. (Please note the spelling, this was not me ;)

Kelly- Kelly sang a song at her first meeting with Sean and this caused her to get a stamp of disapproval here on The Couch. Not that a song is a bad idea (we all remember Jason and Molly and how THAT fiasco turned out. Congrats on your baby, Mesnicks!), but Kelly took herself very seriously and sang that song as if she were Carrie Underwood performing one final encore at the Grande Ole Opry. Kelly is from Nashville, but this does not make it ok. I thought she was a little too intense and if she had perhaps down played her angle and been a little more humble with her tune, it may have been more appealing. Another approved cast off. 

Paige- Paige is a jumbotron operator. For this reason alone, I think she deserved at least another week. I needed to hear her talk about what that job is like. She was a Superfan from The Bachelor Pad (trashy TV we do not watch!), which probably freaked Sean out a little. She seemed really nice though, I promise.

Lauren- Lauren threatened Sean with her Italian father upon first meeting him. Too far, Lauren. This could have definitely been a contributing factor in what sent you home. 

Keriann- I do not actually remember much about Keriann either, but I do not think I liked her. This most likely had to do with the fact that her hair was neither straightened or curly. Pick a look Keriann. Awkward waves from your bedhead are not cutting it. This is prime time.

Overall, not bad choices Sean Lowe. The Couch Potatoes give you four thumbs up for tonight's rose ceremony. 

Favorites so far, because you know we have them!

Kacie B.- Duh. We have agreed that we would watch an entire season of just Sean and Kacie dating. We love her that much.

Diana- I like her more than Michelle, but I think she will come around to my way of thinking. 

Tierra- We actually really liked Tierra. We didn't think we were going to, because she was a little cheerleader on steroids during her first interview, but she managed to redeem herself, and even got the first rose from Sean after arriving at the cocktail party. However, we have learned in the previews for upcoming episodes that she is a little crazy. So, Tierra, you get favorited for tonight based on the merits of your performance so far. I do however reserve the right to immediately revoke this after watching even the first 30 seconds of next week's episode. 

AshLee F.- She organizes for a living. I have mild OCD. Plus she was kind of cute and fun. 

There you have it Couch Potatoes! A recap from this week's The Bachelor. It is ok to admit that you like it too, share your thoughts about the first episode, and follow our blog so you're sure not to miss any future postings ;) 

Have a great Tuesday!

Tis the Season... For the Stomach Flu

Okay, so it's a little after Christmas, I'm aware, but in my line of work the cold and flu season is just about never-ending so its always "the season." Thankfully, I had two weeks off around Christmas, which is usually an ideal time to hide away from all germs and cocoon myself in my apartment with a Sam's size bottle of hand sanitizer and an extra-large can of Lysol.  This year, however, I must have been feeling brave because I ventured out of my apartment for many activities and frolicked about fearlessly through the bacteria infested planet we call home. Little did I know what horrible fate awaited me.

So, it's Christmas morning and like any self respecting 20-something I'm in my jammies and slippers, clutching an oversized Santa mug of hot chocolate with miniature marshmallows (or maybe it was a mug of marshmallows with a miniature amount of hot chocolate), 10 feet deep in discarded wrapping paper watching my younger sisters tear through box after box of goodies, feeling as if my family could be filming a sentimental coca-cola commercial when my dad starts looking a little pale. He shrugged it off and went about whatever it is that dads do on Christmas morning (I was way too involved in the removal of a Barbie from her packaging, you pretty much need the jaws of life for that job let me tell you).

It wasn't until a few minutes later when we heard the sound of, well.. puking, that we knew it wouldn't be a blue Christmas after all.. It would be a green one.

From there the domino effect began quickly. First my dad, then my mom, and then my sister. I thought I had narrowly escaped my fate the next day when I awoke with no sweating, nor queasiness, nor paleness (well, okay, I'm always pale. Stop laughing Lindsey) and so I went about my day as usual. Something you should know about Lindsey and I is that we attend a trivia night at a local restaurant on a regular basis, so when we go everyone knows our team and we were super excited to not have to work the next day which means we could stay out a little later and have some fun. Anyways, we grabbed some fast food before heading out and I briefly mentioned to Lindsey that my stomach was feeling a bit funny.. We chalked it up to excitement and drove onward, arriving a few minutes early and grabbing a large table for our group. As people began to arrive and introductions were made I began to realize that the strange feeling in my stomach was indeed more than excitement or nerves or even a bad case of too-many-french fries. I was going to be sick. Like, now.

I will spare you the details but let me just say that spilling the contents of my stomach into a public restroom trash can is less than glamorous and I do not under any circumstances recommend it. Ever.

Being the glutton for punishment that I apparently am, it took another round of up chucking for me to agree to be driven home. (At this point I couldn't drive if I wanted to for the sweat pouring down my brow and the proverbial tweety birds spinning around my head like some kind of looney tunes character.) Once home I began to grasp the gravity of my illness, and was able to successfully set up a clear puke-path that would be navigated in the darkest hours of the night. Some time later Lindsey came home, bearing gifts of Gatorade and saltines (seriously, this is why I can never live alone). She also did some interpretive dancing, which in my hazy dehydrated state I nicknamed "The Liturgical Lysol Lambada." It included the spraying of Lysol in the form of a cross by my door and her pirouetting around using the disinfectant spray as some kind of weird ribbon accessory. If she was on "So You Think You Can Dance," even Nigel would have applauded her creativity. I groaned a thank you and held up a scorecard with an illuminated "10" on the front and continued on my 12 hour journey through hell. (Okay, so some parts of this may be slightly fictional in case you haven't noticed, but the Liturgical Lysol Lambada was real, I swear.)

All in all, I guess things ended well. I mean, it took me another 12 hours sipping on salty Gatorade and gumming a few saltines before I recovered, but I did lose 4lbs which is always a plus. Also, my dog is scarred for life by the demon like sounds I made throughout the ordeal, so now every time I get out of bed in the middle of the night she breaks out the holy water just in case. Hopefully this story has been just as delightfully entertaining to you as it was (and still is) to Lindsey.. No one can say I won't make jokes (or blogposts) at my own expense anymore!

By the way, if you like our blog and think we should be able to quit our day jobs and sit at our computers all day eating doughnuts (Paleo, of course) and drinking coffee.. please make sure you click the button that says "FOLLOW" on the side bar! The more followers we have, the more likely someone will notice our extremely hidden comedic talents and suggest that we star in our own TV show or something equally reasonable.

Thank you!

Arrrrr Mateys!

A late night chat about pirates.

Michelle: What if pirates were real?
Lindsey: Pirates are real.
Michelle: I know. But I'm talking about old timey pirates, with like peg legs and stuff.
Lindsey: I'm sure they used to be real. But we have modern medicine. They'd have prosthetics.
Michelle: You're telling me, that if I was out on the beach, and a pirate ship washed ashore, the captain would have a prosthetic leg?
Lindsey: Yes. I think a current day pirate missing his leg would have a prosthetic not a peg.
Michelle: I want real pirates. With peg legs, hooks and crocodiles
Lindsey: Like Peter Pan?
Michelle: Yes. His name was Captain Hook, not Captain Prosthetic. And Captain Planet, not Captain Transplant.
Lindsey: Captain Planet wasn't a pirate. He was a hero.... Trying to take pollution down to zero.